A fragile Super 8 self-portait rediscovered on 35mm, made by a struggeling nineteen year old discontented with the pseudo-Brakhagean spectacle presented by her fellow students at the end of the 1970´s. I shot with a remote control and intercut magnetic striped passages of black to record my quandary. The paradoxical predicament of being both subject and object in myself resulted in a film that represents a perhaps obligatory phase of cinematic narcissism in the early work of an aspiring avant-garde filmmaker.