Farewell on the Ice Floe

Veteran Soviet polar explorers have spent nearly a year adrift on an ice floe in the Arctic. To commemorate their recent Hero of the Soviet Union honors, they retreat to their heated “USSR” tent, where a lavish feast magically appears: fish, fruits, cake and sparkling wine. As Stalin’s portrait looms above a banner quoting his 1935 promise that “life has become better, life has become merrier,” the scientists toast the New Year in true Soviet style. Outside, the Arctic wildlife has been rounded up like GULAG prisoners, marching in formation with banners to salute their “Bolshevik masters.” Mid-revelry, famed geographer Otto Schmidt parachutes in, greeted by each scientist with a warm “Brezhnev-style” cheek kiss. United once more, the five heroes raise their glasses under the northern lights, proving that even on the loneliest ice floe, Soviet camaraderie and celebration endures.